BF: They're going to say, "If it were me, I'd talk with John Malone the chairman of Liberty Media, or I would talk to Matt Bosnel, the President of the University of Chicago." So, it's a different way of essentially asking the same question. And at that point they disclose things that might have stayed hidden.
Matt: You're not really asking for knowledge of a specific opportunity, you're asking, "Where can I go for more information and conversation?"
BF: Correct. But the big thing is "if you were me" appeals to their ego, namely, "You're a smart person, and you would naturally you know what to do. So what would you do?"
Matt: So that phrasing is very important.
BF: The phrasing is very important. My business friend might say, "Bill, if I were you, I'd call John Malone, the Chairman of Liberty Media. He'd certainly be a good person to help you."
And that would be helpful, but I don't know John Malone. I could call John Malone's office a hundred times, and the only thing that would happen is that I would get arrested for stalking.
So, what I would say is "I really don't know John Malone and since you do, how would you feel about introducing us? Would you mind setting up a meeting for the three of us?"
Setting up the meeting is very important. We want to <i>let our network help us</i>. That gives us leverage. We want to extend ourselves by letting them work for us. If my friend Steve knows John Malone, it's very easy for him to call John and say "Hey, I want you to come to breakfast and we're going to meet this guy, Bill Frank, or we're going to have a telephone call with him." It's very easy for my friend.
And here's a simple real-world example: